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Post by NobodyWeirdLikeMe on Mar 4, 2005 4:43:29 GMT -5
ok it kinda sucks but it's special to me so here goes...
Dying inside but no you really look fine Little lie that I am Just smoke up your weed Are you shocked by the speed Little Lie Little Lie Just flutter back by nine
Are You bleeding again coz you're looking ok Little Lie that you are Just have one more shot Though it won't help alot Little Lie Little Lie Could you make it today?
Crying my friend-I know you'll pull through Little Lies that we are Just finish that fag But I don't want to nag Litlle Lies Little Lies You know that I knew
Sleeping again, will you ever wake up? Little scars that we are I'll pass you that knife Help you destroy your life Little Scars Little Scars 'Hunny, please don't give up.'
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Post by Swanflea on Mar 4, 2005 5:51:07 GMT -5
Emma, I wish you good luck to get through all that. I'm sure you'll do well.
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Post by finscar on Mar 4, 2005 6:11:05 GMT -5
ok it kinda sucks but it's special to me so here goes... it doesnt sucks. thankfully. a little lie sometimes matter the most. i hope you'll be fine.
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Leni
Native Of This Place
far too good looking to do the cooking
Posts: 1,856
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Post by Leni on Mar 4, 2005 7:01:10 GMT -5
It doesn't suck at all.
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Post by NobodyWeirdLikeMe on Mar 4, 2005 11:50:42 GMT -5
It's about my friend.....she's getting so bad and all i can do is keep telling her she'll be fine even if its a lie
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Post by Angel on Mar 4, 2005 12:25:37 GMT -5
ok it kinda sucks but it's special to me so here goes... Why would you think it sucked? (I guess we are all our own worst critics)
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Post by NobodyWeirdLikeMe on Mar 4, 2005 15:14:31 GMT -5
hehehe I actually edited a fair bit as i wrote it here....and well it didn't feel right in a way. I can't explain it, I just got a bad vibe from it-like it was too blunt.
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Post by NobodyWeirdLikeMe on Mar 5, 2005 8:10:06 GMT -5
if you can't say anthing nice then don't say anything at all.
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Post by NobodyWeirdLikeMe on Mar 5, 2005 8:23:36 GMT -5
constructive critisim is ok.....'meh' isn't constructive.
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Post by NobodyWeirdLikeMe on Mar 5, 2005 11:32:54 GMT -5
I wasn't. I agree that the ryhming sucks but I just didn't think that 'meh' was a answer.
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Post by Angel on Mar 7, 2005 11:06:29 GMT -5
From the point of view of substance over form (I usually couldn't care less about form) I think it is fine because it does mean something to the author and I think it shows.
I'd rather read something like this than some overly vague piece of esoteric bullshit that exists solely for the purpose of appearing to mean something when in fact it means nothing at all.
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Post by NobodyWeirdLikeMe on Mar 7, 2005 13:59:01 GMT -5
aww thanks hunny
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Post by funkymonkeygirl on Mar 7, 2005 14:07:56 GMT -5
Emma, it doesn't suck at all. That is a very touching poem...I hope your friend will be better soon. That must be really hard for you...
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Post by NobodyWeirdLikeMe on Mar 7, 2005 14:22:04 GMT -5
it is.........and it isn't. Truth be told I went through the same stuff as her and well seeing her struggle forced me to relive it so I'm in a weird place with her. I want to help her but i can't help but hate her for dredging up painful memories. Thanks very much though
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Post by apacherose2001 on Mar 7, 2005 20:08:14 GMT -5
I really like it..it really hit an emotion i thought it was really touching and shows your amazing courage to be strong for your friend i believe poetry should be words and sentences that describe the emotion or subject your talking about..and yours clearly does xxxxxx
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Post by NobodyWeirdLikeMe on Mar 8, 2005 12:25:19 GMT -5
:-[awwww thanks everyone. It's really nice to hear all of this from you!
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Post by ..::~Sophie McWophie ~::... on Mar 9, 2005 19:26:32 GMT -5
From the point of view of substance over form (I usually couldn't care less about form) I think it is fine because it does mean something to the author and I think it shows. I'd rather read something like this than some overly vague piece of esoteric bullshit that exists solely for the purpose of appearing to mean something when in fact it means nothing at all. here here!! i think it's wonderful emma
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Post by nightshop on Mar 9, 2005 20:09:48 GMT -5
From the point of view of substance over form (I usually couldn't care less about form) I think it is fine because it does mean something to the author and I think it shows. I'd rather read something like this than some overly vague piece of esoteric bullshit that exists solely for the purpose of appearing to mean something when in fact it means nothing at all. I'm going to have to disagree with you. I don't see much substance at all. I'm not saying this to be petty. I have read too many poems by those who explicitly state their meaning. And it just seems so superficial. Writing is art. Sometimes is takes time. Sometimes it comes more easily to some than others. But art can be interpreted in many different ways if it's slightly obscure. That is what makes it universal. I can't honestly read poems by Bukowski and then read some that don't quite have the same caliber and accept it in the same way. This might be hurtful in some ways, no one likes their work ciricized, but without criticism there is no improvement. So instead of ignoring it or happily complimenting it, I'm going to speak honestly. This isn't a flame war.
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Post by nightshop on Mar 9, 2005 20:10:31 GMT -5
*criticized
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Post by NobodyWeirdLikeMe on Mar 10, 2005 12:52:17 GMT -5
lets not turn this into another argument girls. Nightshop i respect your opinion completly
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