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Post by funkymonkeygirl on Dec 29, 2004 20:57:18 GMT -5
I just found a poem that I wrote for my english class last year. It's called A love blast.
A love blast
Do you remember our first kiss? Do you remember our first fight? This is what I miss It was love at first sight
Do you remember the smell of my perfume You used to like on my body And that I let you consume During that journey?
I can hear your voice A sound from my heart Telling me that you didn't have the choice But you don't know how much it hurts
You are now in a different world With many angels I hope that I will always be yours Till the sun stops shining
Every night I pray That you will be with me someday I know it's kind of strange I'm sorry, I can't change
It seems life goes too fast Our life together is already a thing of the past Yes, I remember that day of May, the last When, in my heart, I had that love blast...
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Post by NobodyWeirdLikeMe on Dec 30, 2004 9:18:38 GMT -5
its very good. You change your rhyming structure a few times during the poem and my personal preferance is the first few verses but as i said thats a personal preferance. The last verse could also use a little work on the rhythem but apart from that i think you should keep on writing.
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Post by Yertle_The_Turtle on Dec 31, 2004 11:38:55 GMT -5
Weeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhwwwwwwwwwwwwwoooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh
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Avalon'sMysteries
Native Of This Place
"I'm on a rollercoaster, but I'm on my feet..."
Posts: 2,409
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Post by Avalon'sMysteries on Dec 31, 2004 13:11:46 GMT -5
It's good
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